Love to all!This assignment has 2 parts. (A) observe a child/teenager engaged in an activity fo some kind and write a 350 word(385 max) OBJECTIVE description. Then (B) create a 350-385 word inner portrait of the subject, using their own language to express thoughts and feelings.
So there’s one main issue right off the bat: It’s recommended not to use a child/teen we know, so how does one observe a strange child/teen in public for a time long enough to make notes for 350-385 word exercise, without having their parents call the police??!!
As fortune would dictate, my daughter asked if I could take her to her best friends’ indoor soccer game! BINGO! 
I’m posting both parts in the same blog, so it’s a bit long. The names are changed to protect me from embarrassing my daughter!
5a:
KAYLIE (aged approx 17)
She enters the indoor arena jogging to the players’ side. Her dark eyes are wide, offset by her olive complexion. She has a classic Mediterranean beauty. Her tie-dyed green tee shirt, with “#17 Nari” hand-written in black marker on the back, and her Kelly green, knee-length athletic shorts billow in the breeze brought by her swift gait. She joins her teammates who’d arrived earlier. The coach approaches, speaks with her privately, a serious expression on his face, his hands on her shoulders. She doesn’t fidget but seems to listen attentively.
He smiles finally, pats her on the shoulder and she joins the rest of the team, who greet her excitedly. She speaks animatedly, seeming to give a pep talk as they nod in apparent agreement.
As she trots onto the floor for warm-ups, what’s hand-written on the front of her tee-shirt is clear: “CRANK dAT”. Stretching, she ties her straight, light brown hair in a ponytail almost sub-consciously. She kicks to her goalie equally strongly with either leg. She shouts instructions to her teammates regarding positioning, advising them to stay focused. Her tone doesn’t sound bossy. She seems to be playing the role of Team Captain.
During the game she takes turns playing defense and offense. When she’s on offense she looks to pass to an open teammate even more than she attempts a shot on goal. Her eyes never leave the ball as it travels up and down the floor. On defense, the moment an opponent crosses the centerline heading for her goal, she runs to challenge. She’s one of the tallest on her team and seemingly one of the oldest, but there are larger players on the other team. More often than not she ends up with the ball, and uses her slim, muscular legs to kick it far down floor. She seems to be able to place the ball at will. One of her kicks flies the length of the floor, ricocheting off of a panel above the goal, landing in play right in front of a teammate who barely misses the goal.
After the victory, as she wipes the perspiration from her forehead with the bottom of her tee shirt, she’s the first to line up to congratulate the other team for a game well-played, slapping hands with her opponents.
A tad dry, no? But it’s all preparation for
5b
Kaylie
“Late for the championship,” I thought. “I’m so dead.”
I saw Coach as I ran across the field. His face had this weird expression: a combination of fury and relief. I almost laughed!
“Kaylie, you know these girls look up to you,” he said on the sideline, looking me straight in the eye.
“My bad, coach. Won’t happen again.” (I’m a senior! LOL!)
“Just get out there,” he said, smiling.
Heather was practically in tears.
“Don’t ever do that to me again” she screamed, grabbing my face in her hands. “You scared the crap out of me!”
“Sorry,” I laughed. “Yo, people, listen up.” I reached into my bag pulling out the red roses I clipped from the garden before I left the house.
“You each get one,” I said. “Watch the thorns. You’re like these roses. You’re all beautiful and strong, but if anyone tries to mess with you, they’re gonna get hurt. Right?”
“Right,” they screamed, and ran onto the field.
It was a tight game, evenly matched. They were bigger but we were faster. It was 1-1, less than a minute left. Heather, a freshman, was tearing downfield on the left with the ball. Their biggest striker stole the ball and left her eating wet grass. No whistle! (C’mon, Ref!!) I was the only one back so there was nothing between our goalie and me. She tried to fake right but I was onto her and toed the ball away from her cleanly with my right foot. Then it got wicked weird.
Time, like, stopped. I‘m not even kidding. I could smell the grass. I could hear dad screaming from the bleachers. I locked eyes with Heather downfield just left of the goal. I kicked with my left and the ball like, floated towards the goal. Their goalie relaxed, thinking the shot was high, but Heather’s eyes locked on the ball. It hit the crossbar and caromed right to her. She headed it into the right corner. The whistle blew. Game over. We were champs!! Woo hoo!!
“Awesome shot, rookie” I said to Heather, putting my arm around her.
“That pass was amazing,” she said. I just shrugged.
“And how can you play a whole soccer game and still look hot enough to hit the mall?”
Practice,” I laughed. “Lots of practice.”
So the question is, did I effectively use the profile I created with my objective observation, to paint a clear inner portrait of Kaylie, keeping in mind that I’m expected to use her language/vernacular/colloquialisms..etc? Do you, Gentle Reader, get a sense of who she is, inside and out?
Ok so I obviously have Font Issues. Sorry if it gives you a headache, but it’s just too screwy to work with the html etc at this point.
maybe in the future I’ll suss it out.
Love to all,
Go
Think you got the ‘lingo’. But….I have no current experience with teenage girl speak. LOL.
Sounds like you’re on the right path. Though it’s strange to read an adult’s observations of teen, in contrast to the first person view of the girl. Funny reminder of how we see ourselves, and how others see us.
Nicely done.